The Stormin' Mormon's pre-fight press conference.

Jebediah enters from the side and sits down in front of the mike followed by his fivewives and twenty seven children.


Alright, I'm glad to see you all here and I can't tell you how excited I am for this first fight. I have done a little homework on Ryu and I am looking forward to providing the crowd with some quality fighting entertainment in a nite that will be dominated by two guys rolling around on the ground with each other. From what I gather, Ryu is a Karate guy, similar to myself. Except he's short. Real short. I am looking forward to running through this japanese Danny DiVito and showing the world the skills of a true point-fighter. I am bigger, faster, and meaner than Ryu will ever be and unless they allow Hadoukens in MMA he won't touch me.

Ryu, if you try to take this fight to the ground I'll know what kind of man you are! They called it PRIDE for a reason, you know. I want to fight like men and may the better man win.


Jebediah gets up and leads his huge family out of the pressroom.

I am going to sit on you!